Better than Drugs
by Kangaeru
Summary: After Mello left to join the mafia, Matt was left alone. Depressed, he began smoking. Now that Mello has returned, can he break Matt's habit by giving him a new drug, himself? Matt/Mello. contains voilence, drug abuse, cursing & sex
1. Goodbye my fuckin bitch, I'll miss you

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!!!! :O

lol, this is my first fan fic, so yeah. Please rate and review :) i would love to get some. I'm workin on chapter 2 (but it will be from Matt's POV). Though it might take some time, maybe 2 or 3 days. I got a basketball game soon, so yeah :O just a question, who thinks that Matt's the one in charge? and who think's Mello is? IDK. Now, please enjoy the work of, moi, the spawn of the panda-man and lover of soda and gummies! :D do it, and I'll give ya a cookie. k? the cookie tempts you my dear evil minions! XD bwahahaha!!!! *cough* O_O.....hahaha

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Better than Drugs

Chapter 1: 'Good-bye' my fuckin bitch; I'll miss you'

(Mello's POV)

I watched you sleep. Your chest slowly rising and falling as I've witnessed so many times before. You were my only and best friend. Hell, you're the only one who actually wasn't scared of me. You took me in, as your friend. You were the only one who would listen and not bitch when I was ranting on about how Wammy's sucked.

I remember when we first met.

_Roger brought me into the center of the room. I wanted to kill him for that. I stood there, only 4 or five. I don't remember how old I was; but what I do remember, was your face. You looked so innocent. And to think, you were part of the competition to gain L's title. I saw your eyes. They were blue, dark, syrupy thick. Your hair was unbrushed, you wore a stupid, baggy, ugly striped shirt, that just barely clung to your shoulders. Didn't they feed you at all? The old man let me go free. He said all I had to do was find a room with a vacant bed and make my self at home. I cautiously looked around. If my father taught me one thing before he died, it was to never show fear. But oh God that was hard when I saw you step forward._

_'You can stay with me..' you held out a pale hand. I looked around, the other children came no where near me._

_'They think I'm a mean ass bitch don't they?...' I said, looking back at you._

_'dude, language...' I watched as you fingered the rosary around my neck. 'You don't look like a bad guy. Come on,' Your hand grabbed mine. Almost completely engulfing it. 'I'll take you to our new room.' a stupid, wide smile crossed your lips. One that I would see all too often. 'My name's Mile. But ya have ta call me 'Matt'. We all use aliases.' I scoffed._

_'How come I don't got one?' an icy tone coated my voice._

_'hmm..' you paused in your tracks. 'I'll give you one.' again with the retarded smile._

_'ugh...' I groaned, putting a palm to my head._

_''What's your name?'_

_'Iamwith Stupid' I joked, looking out the corner of my eye. Your face dropped. I stared, then made up my mind. 'Damn, I'm as soft as a marshmallow'_

_'Language, Mel. Hey! I'll call you Mello!' That was the most ridiculous,most fuckin messed up name I have ever heard. But I liked it._

_'Thanks Matt. You get a cool name and I get Mello'_

_'Well, it's not as bad as Near. Sounds like a location.'_

_'It is you idiot'_

_'Oh well...' you started playing with your fingers. That was the only time I had ever seen them empty. They annoyed me. Tapping, and jittery. You just stood there thinking and twiddling your thumbs. I groaned, and grabbed an item out of my satchel. That was probably the worst mistake I could've made. It was a video game._

_'Here, play with this.' I said, and threw my stuff on the empty bed. _

_'Whoa!' I heard you shout joyfully as the screen lit up and colours flashed in your eyes. _

_'You're gonna get a seizure.' I placed a pair of orange goggles over your face. Oh God, Matt, if only you could see how happy you looked. You looked like a puppy about to piss his bed._

_'Thanks Mel!' You wrapped my body in your arms and easily crushed my bones. 'I never had a real friend before.'_

_'Yeah, neither have I...' I said cautiously, and patted your back. _

And now I stood over your sleeping form. Ten years later, with a wrenching decision to make.

'I can't take you, you'll just get hurt...' I put a hand on your head. My fingers clenching your scruffy brown-red hair. I could feel a lump rising in my throat. You were my only friend. But I had to find Kira. You and I both know your histories. I had to find some way of protecting us and beating Near to L's position. I knew I could keep you safe then. I let your hair go, and left the room. I looked back one more time half-heartedly telling myself to just leave. With a kick of the stand, the motorcycle came to life, and I rode away. Praying under my breathe I could do this on my own.

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Well, what do ya think? :O please be nice, other wise, I will send a man-eatting hedgehog to your door to eat your fingernails clean off! :D


	2. Goodbye my friend, hello addiction

I own nothing!!!!!! except the plot line...oO.....bah!

sit back, eat some chocolate an enjoy da show :O hopefully.....Better than Drugs

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(Matt's POV)

And you left. My eyes only opened enough so I could see your other hand; calmly by your hip. I could feel your you fingers brushing through my hair. They twirled, and danced. I could feel a low purr rising from my chest, each time fading with every lost breath. I closed my eyes, and you just left.

You bastard! You broke my heart! You just got up and left without me! We'd been friends all our lives, and you just got up and left!

I remember when we first met. You were all alone, and I came up to you. I offered you a place to stay, a friend, and a partner you could always rely on. I guess I was just acting 'stupid' wasn't I, Mello? Just like you've always said. That's all I'll ever be to you, isn't it?

I sat up; pulling the orange tinted goggles off my face. I could feel God putting tears in the corners of my eyes. Fuck! I hated it! I was never one to get angry, nor overreact, but dude! You just fuckin left me! My back hit the bed once more. I hissed in the pain you had struck. My mind flashed to the night we met. I could almost see it clearly, though it hurt at the very thought.

_I__ wrapped my arms around your body easily. You were always too damn skinny. I relished in the joy you gave me. The game in my hand. While the other limb clung admiringly to your hair. So soft, and golden. The evening light only emphasized its sheen. _

_'Thanks, Mel! I never had a real friend before.' I could hardly contain my excitement. Think about it! My first friend who didn't see me as an anti-social freak!_

_'Yeah, neither have I...' you said cautiously, and patted my back. I could've stood there forever. Just you and I. Friends 'til the end. And not even God would tear us apart. _

But I guess it wasn't God who separated us? Was it?

I ran my fingers though my hair. Matted, and scruffy; but I really didn't give a shit. I just sat there, thinking of you.

"You're not comin' back, are you, Mel?...." standing up and heading downstairs, I got the keys to Roger's car. The only noise coming form the area around me was that of my boots hitting the gravel below.

"What are you doing, Matt?" a voice sounded from behind me. I turned around, only to see a white haired boy, standing in his pajamas, holding a stuffed bear. His tired gray eyes staring back into mine.

"hey, Near, wh-"

"Mello's gone, isn't he?" the boy said coldly. Though I could've sworn he had a tone of sympathy or pain in his response.

"Shut up and go to bed, this doesn't consider you" I hissed. Mello had nothing to do with the white haired freak.

"Oh, and how does it concern you?" the boy's words where bitter. They bit into me, knawning on my last nerves. I could feel my throat swelling up and something wield in the corners of my eyes.

"He's my friend." My gaze burned into the other boy's skin. He had been Mel's rival and now he had the mind to just come up front and ask how it concerns _me. _

"Seems more than a friendship to me." The pale abomination smiled mischievously. "How do you know he's not coming back? Maybe he just went out t-"

"SHUT UP NEAR!" I felt myself scream the words unnecessarily. My skin crawled in the early autumn wind. "I know he's not comin back cause I heard him myself. He said he wasn't going to take me. He said he had to live his own life..."

A pause stiffened the once thin air.

"So, what are you going to do now, Matt?" He looked up at me with those iced, gray eyes; so curious and yet mocking.

"I'm headin into town, I'll be back by morning...."

"going to a bar?"

"No...." Mel never really wanted anything to do with alcohol, nor did I. But I had a different idea to solve my pain. That involved neither knives nor alcohol.

***

"thank you" I bid the cashier, and carried my bag to the parking lot. The moon illuminated the black top into a silver like glow.

I struck a match. The flame turning a brilliant orange-ish blue. The fire smothering the tip of the drug filled tube. Cautiously, I held it to my lips and breathed in the smoke. It sent a chill down my spine. Though it was pleasant, it was nothing compared to even breathing Mello's air. I returned to the driver's seat. Heading slowly towards Wammy's. There was no point in rushing. It was only 5, the staff would wake at 6:30 to prepare the childrens' breakfast, so I had all the time I needed. I just decided to drive, and think of the one who so cruelly abandoned me. As if my mother hadn't hurt me enough....

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second chapter :O sorry it took so long, just had finals, and they sucked! :D D: lol, I'll try to write more with the 2 weeks off, lol

tell meh what you think or the nail eating hedgehog will return ToT


	3. Comatose

Third chap :O once again, review, I love gettin comments on dis :) I like the idea of someone cutting themselves then filling their wounds with forgin substance (like the drugs) ....oO....IDK why....shoudl i rate this T for now?

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!! :O

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Better than Drugs

(Matt's POV )

They numbed me. They numbed me in every way you never did. I rocked my body back and forth. My being violently shaking, though the cold was no where close to my skin. It was the tobacco. I tasted it on my tongue. The smoke filled air residing in my lungs. I could feel the black devouring them away.

_It isn't right. This isn't right. _But oh God did it feel that way. My tongue lapped up the drug, my mind imagining it was your saliva in your mouth. I could imagine how it'd taste, but all my taste buds found, was the dense favour of tobacco. Oh how I longed for it to be you.

"M-more, I-I need m-more..." I spilled the small white package's contents on the bathroom floor below me. The ash from my cigarette falling, and slightly burning my now ungloved hands.

I picked up a shaving razor. Fingering its blade in my pale, large hand. All the smoke chard my throat, stinging as I took every breath. My face felt as though fire leaked down my cheek, the warm tear suddenly feeling as though it were made of boiling metal. My skin was so cold, my fingers quivered as I held the small blade. _If I need more, I'll get more..._I clenched my teeth tightly, and slashed my arm. A thin river of blood trickled out. Its scarlet colour resembling the scorn of man, but so thin as to be mistaken for the tears of a fairy sewn in to my skin. I took the cigarette butt, and tapped its ash into the cut.

"Ugh....ng..." I moaned and hissed in pain. It felt like Hell's tongue had licked up my forearm. Its poison crawling up in a fury of hot ants, fighting and living under my skin. Devouring me as I sat in the bathroom holding my knees. Cold, damp perspiration sheeting my half dressed body. Every fiber of my muscles intaking the drug. My uncontrolled, disobedient mind racing to only one thought: you. I could see your eyes borrowing into my head.

Your stair full of hate and disappointment. I never want to see that expression on your face. Never. But the pain....the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain you gave me in my heart. You bastard. Thats all you are.

"Bastard!" I screamed. Throwing the razor at my flesh again. Silver danced over and under my skin, shinning brilliantly with the crimson liquid. Whisps of the blood painted my ivory body delicately. I began carving your name in my shoulder, and over my neck. Down my chest, and to my stomach. _Mello _"Mihael Keehl, Mello, dirty son of a bitch! Who ever you are, you're the only one in my life that has not only beaten me down, but killed me!" Tears rest lavishly in my blue eyes. I chewed, and breathed in the smell of cigarettes and blood that surrounded me.

My skin was painted in nothing but red and black. My fingers were raw to the bone, and tarnished in black. My eyes were red, my teeth were black, my throat, my tongue, my body, my whole being, was painted in fucking black!....All except my heart, which would always be coloured gold... Only for fuckin you....

Trembling, I inched to the shower. Turning it as high as a mortal could bare with raw flesh.

"comatose...I'll never wake up without it...overdose...of you...." my voice sung the words in a choppy whisper. "Oh how I adore you, oh how I thirst for you-" I held my hand to the shower water. Letting the hot liquid fuse with my own wounds' scarlet remains. Small grains of tobacco and the red droplets streamed down my arm, rolled off my shoulder and into my mouth. "-oh how I need you...." I drank in the sin that was your memory, in the form of my own blood. I drank my desires, trying to quench the fire I felt rising in my gut.

It sucks. It sucks to know that my only friend left. That I never got the chance to realize how much I really do care- no scratch that- _love. _There, I said it.

"I fuckin love you, Mello...." I whispered. I wrote your name in my skin. I _tried_ to fight these demons inside. They kept telling me to try something. To try to tell you. "Huh, funny....those demons- they turned out to be angels. So what does that make me?...." I grinned at the self-inflicted scars on my body. Exhaustion drowned my body, I could feel it pulling me down in to my Hell bound core.

"Matt?" a knock hit the door. The hand tapping on it genitally, yet strong enough for me to wake from my comatose dream state. Weary, I stood, and made my way for the door. Not even bothering to reach for a towel.

"Sup, Near?" I tried to sound as calm and stoic as our mentor, L. It failed miserably. Instead resembling the ass that was you. The albino stared at my naked body. His normally pale face heating into a rose colour. His soulless, gray eyes just gazing at the uncovered area between my knees.

"y-you came home. Without talki-.....why are you naked?...." he asked, obviously flustered. "...w-what happened to you?..." a few pale fingers reached for my stomach. I recoiled, wanting to protect the name written in my skin.

"None of your business." I hissed. Closing the door in the boy's face. Nothing would make me relax. No one would be able to fill with the lost solace. I don't want to sleep, I can't dream, until I feel you next to me. Thanks a lot you asshole. Thanks for leaving me.

I lit another cigarette, and placed it in my mouth. Sucking the smoke into my lungs. My replacement drug, my pitiful addiction.

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next chapter: im plannin on extending the drug usage, cusing, and of course Mello :) be prepared for lots of screaming, and morrbid discriptions! :D fore Matt & Mel are gonna reunite :O

review or I'll poke you....oO.....with a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy long finger....oO.....*holds out 12' finger to your face*


	4. 29

Third chap :O once again, review, I love gettin comments on dis :) I like the idea of someone cutting themselves then filling their wounds with forgin substance (like the drugs) ....oO....IDK why....shoudl i rate this T for now?

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!! :O

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(Mello's POV )

I laid under the stars that night. My body trembling in the blackened cold. I had to go back, not for Wammy's, pft, to Hell with that pit! No, not for Wammy's.

I wanted to go home. Not that fuckin mafia. They really don't give a shit about me. I just want a place where I can be....I don't even know any more. With the gang I have to be 'Mello, the tough guy' the freakin bastard who killed and brought the former mafia leader's head on a silver platter. I can never cry nor show remorse. Only sickening pride and a lust for blood and power. But...I truly do want it. I want Kira to die for what he did to L. The guy was like an older brother. I could always look up to him, and then he was stolen away. I'll never forgive that prick for killing him. Just like every other aspect of my life. Every amount or cause of peace has been taken away. It sucks to never mile out of happiness and not pure insanity. Having my lips curled into a demonic grin even I can't bare to look at and still hold strong...I feel that I am loosing myself.

I sat up, running a hand through my yellow hair. Something tells me that the NPA will try something funny. I already set the explosives in place..if worse comes to worse.

My boots heavily met the floor. I strode to the cabinets and removed a chocolate bar, lavishing it in licks and sucking on the corner until it dissolved, then continued to the next side. God knows what could happen tomorrow. Oh how I wish I could just get out of this shit hole...I wish I had a friend.

***

"The next step is for me to figure out just how much I can control people with this thing..." I sat analyzing the Death Note. At the moment, my own feelings must be put aside. Kira is still out there, and alive. But not for long...

_**After writing the name, the details of the dead should be written in the next 6 mi--**_

The black book flew from my hand.

I gasped, and watched it as it fell on Kal's head.

"uh, the notebook just flew..." What the Hell's going on?! Notebooks don't just fly on their own!

"ha! Its a notebook that kills people, Hell, nothing surprises me anymore" one member said, before being interrupted by a terrified scream. The bastard began screaming something about a 'Shimigami'...Death God...I wonder...

"He says you can see him if you touch the notebook!" he continued."Please! Everyone touch it! I swear I'm not crazy!!" cautiously, we each touched it. Low and behold, a hideous freakin creepy thing stood right in the corner of the room. Right behind me. Fuck! One after the other, we pulled out our guns and began to shoot the beast.

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!!-_

But there it was, still alive. So it's true...Shimigami exist...

I rose up to it. My palms shaking. A Death god, was standing right in front of us.

"Hey, Shimigami!" not exactly the way you should approach a God of Death, but hey, I'm Mello. The creature looked at my with snake like eyes.

"My name's Sidoh, not 'Shimigami'" he replied. "Thats _my_ notebook you have. Ca-..." he stopped, smelling the air with an invisible nose. "What is _that_?" the thing was referring to the chocolate I was eating. He sounded tempted, allured by its sweet scent. A thought struck my mind.

"Sidoh, I'll trade you this bar of chocolate, for all you know about the notebook." My words coming out more as a demand rather than a request. The monster stared, and quickly snatched the bar from my grip. I smiled an evil grin as he began to explain the book's strange power.

***

_As for the thirteen day rule, we could test that out using one of our people. But the real question is 'was this the notebook used by Kira?And if so, was he aware that these two rules are false? If he did know, he could use them to his advantage. The thirteen day rule in particular would've allowed him to prove his innocence in only thirteen days.._

"Sidoh, go keep watch outside. It'll be very convenient for us that you can't be seen by humans. Go outside and keep watch. Got it?!" the Shimigami looked at me. Almost as if he was scared, ha, imagine that. A God of Death scared of bad-ass me. None the less, the creature complied.

November 10th, 11:46 pm

_3...2...1_...11:47pm. The men stared screaming, clenching their chests.

_So, Kira's involved in it after all. I didn't think he'd go this far...My plan was supposed to be perfect. Damn! What the Hell's Sidoh doing?!_ I had to get away, other wise the police would catch and finish Kira's job on us. Running, I called out to Whitey and Skeeter.

"Whitey, Skeeter! The notebook's under Rod's body! Get it and meet me in the surveillance room!" I continued up the stairs, crashing in the iron doors. The remote for the explosives rest on the table. Unfortunately for me, that Yagami freak had gotten in. I grabbed it and destroyed both the entrances. "Don't move, I've already blown up the two entrances to this place. The next one will destroy the entire building as well as your men inside. So you'd better do as I say..." I held a gun up to him. He removed his helmet. Something wasn't right. There was more of an ere presents than the last time we met but I brushed it off. I could feel the fear and anticipation bubbling in my stomach.

I laughed. Not because anything was funny, but because of the irony of it all. The man was supposed to be a police officer. I didn't think that he'd come in with a *gun ready to shoot me down.

"Yagami again, huh? Maybe I should've killed you when I had the chance. I never dreamed I'd be bargaining for the notebook with you again..." a silence stiffened the air.

"...Your real name, is Mihael Keehl" The man said, a dark tone heavy in his voice.

_What the Hell?! How did he-?!_

"It's over Mello. Turn yourself in. If you come willingly, I won't kill you." He opened the book, and put a pen to the page. I sighed, knowing what would have to be done.

"Yagami-"

"Don't move, I've already written your first name and it would only take me a second to write your sir name."

"I'm truly sorry, for what its worth, I can give you my word that I never wanted to kill you..." I apologized. Giving the signal to Jose to shoot. He rolled over, grabbed the machine gun and fired. The old man just stood there, taking the bullets into his back. "Jose! The notebook!" I could hear the rest of the officers coming. My nerves unraveling as they came closer. I secured the mask to my face. That was probably the most God damn stupid thing I have ever done...they shot the member down, and told me to surrender, To Hell with that. I held the remote, and clicked the button.

And everything went black.

***

I could feel a searing pain on my skin. My body lay beaten and scared. My neck would not move. Nor could I open my left eye. Something was wrong. The others were dead. All of them...I had no one to call, except Matt...I dialed the cell phone, and held it to my ear the best I could. The long period of ringing broke me. Would he not answer? I know I was an ass, but he was still me friend, right? And then, I heard the most liberating thing in the world...

"Mello?...."


	5. Like Hell a gypsy's red lace

sorry's been so long, just had a freakin lot of school work -_-' not very plesent. lol. this's my longest chapter isnt it? woo :D ya see the thing is that i have up to chapter 7 writen out i just dont have it typed. I write at school, but never have time to actually sit and type it all out. So that sucks. anyway, hopefully i'll have more out soon please review!!!! D: an if ya guys have any sexual tormenting ideas i'd love ta hear them! :D bondage and chains are always welcome ^^ (also leather, rope, etc, anything like that. as well as 'toys' :D) ive never written anything sexual before, so i need a bit of help, cause its comin in soon....

I OWN NOTHING!

note: Im switching this into 1st person, but as Mels talking about Matt, not to him, k?

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Better than Drugs

(Mello's POV )- Like Hell a gypsy's red lace

I felt something cool wash my face. Cleaning it gently, as though the owner was afraid that I may break. My eye burned, but what concerned me, was that it was only the left...and I couldn't move. Something was bonding my body to the cushion under me. Wait...cushion? No, it wasn't any type of cloth nor bedding...it was something different, something alive. I strained to see whom I was on.

It was Matt. _Holy fuckin shit_, he actually came. He came, and was holding me in his lap, in his _arms_; cleaning my face from the ash and grime.

"M-Matt?..y-"

"Shh..." He whispered, holding a soft finger to my lips. Fuckin gamer, I could feel something stroke my hair. I smelled smoke. Strong, and potent. I must've been covered in more soot than I thought....

But...he looked different. More pale, feeble, Matt...some thing's wrong ....

Skin held a sickly, morbid hue. Those once bright, blue eyes now glazed over with a foreign alien expression. Still muscular, but weaker in some sense of form. He just sat there, bare-chested. It was then I realized it wasn't a cloth I was being cleaned with, it was his own shirt. The soft fabric brushing my wounds and stained the stripes in ash and blood.

"Mels, its OK...I'm here..." He licked the shirt, and rubbed my eyes. Strangely, his facial expression worried.

I sat up, feeling my spine crack with each vertebrae I stretched. A small, pathetic groan escaped my lips with a yawn. He laughed quietly. How good it was to hear it again...Almost two fuckin years without a friendly face. Now I have the one I've been craving all along. I did a self-examination. Only bruises, minor cuts and burns; nothing I couldn't handle. But there was still my face...

I got to my feet with matt's assistance. He more or less held me up and looked at his cobalt stained eyes.

"Ya got chocolate?" a deep chuckle shook his chest, as he pulled out a bar form his jean pocket. Greedily, I devoured the sweetness. It tasted so good despite the smoke that remained in my mouth. I began to wonder just how the hell the ash came to coat my tongue. "Mmm, Matty, *swallow* take me to the bathroom, I need ta take a piss." I told him and tapped his chest as I licked my lips clear. A smile like his face, in the slightest, most lovely way.

"Sure Mels..." his voice somewhat hoarse, yet as smooth as ever. Those bright blue eyes shinning, although they kept their glazed texture. He slide his goggles down his forehead and lead me to the toiletries.

* * *

I unzipped my pants while he stood in the corner. He and I never had a problem with seeing each other in the bathroom ever since the bully incident as Whammy's.

_He and I were trapped in a bathroom by 'Mig' and Josh, they waited outside with an assortment of torture devises. Luckily, I always had a stash of chocolate, in practically every room in the mansion._

_I sat eating the goodness, while Matt fiddled with his dying PSP. Messing with his feet as he did so. A toothpick hung from his lip as he tried rapidly to cheat death out of the game. _

_"Shit." he growled and threw it against the wall. _

_"aw, is my Matty upset?" I asked playfully._

_"Yeah" he replied. And sat on the bathtub rim. I joined him and threw an arm over his thin shoulders._

_"It's OK to be mad" I imitated that pedophile on the children shows Near loved to watch. Pinching his nose flirtatiously. A light pink hue tinted his cheeks._

_"pft, shut up" he pushed my body over gently, Matt was never violent, only when he needed to be. My body swayed softly. We stayed silent for a moment. I, contemplating how the Hell to get out of this screw hole. And he...of something, God knows what goes on under that brown hair._

_"uh....hey, Mels?...." he asked cautiously._

_"yeah?"_

_"I need ta....ya know....'go'." the rose colour deepened. I stared at him, slightly confused yet somehow also embarrassed. _

_"'k, then go before you piss your pants."_

_"...OK..." he got up, and unzipped. I, being the guy I am, didn't bother to turn away. I just sat there, and I admit, getting out wasn't the only thing I was thinking about._

_* * *_

A click snapped me back into reality. I glared over my shoulder, and saw him cupping his hands around his mouth, and the pulled away. Revealing a cigarette. He pulled in a long breath, and let the smoke escape his lips. Both seductive and disgusting at the same time.

"Dude?! What the Hell?!" I screamed, and pushed him over, not bothering to re-zip my pants. I snatched the drug away from him. Only to realize what he truly looked like.

A morbid, sickly gray hue skinned his thin frame. His torso housed open wounds. The flesh surrounding and curling in a horrifying way. Inside the cuts, old and new grains of tobacco decided to abide along his pulsing veins. Black bags held closely to his sapphire, orange tinted goggled eyes. He looked weary, frail, and animalistic, but worst of all, he looked like Hell.

Unfaised by my taking of the drug, he pulled out another stick lit and held it between his teeth. Just resting it on his tongue. He threw his head back, and sighed.

"Its nothing' Mels.." he replied calmly, yet somehow husky.

"Fuck no! This's not _nothing_ Matt!" I grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him violently. "That shit can kill you! Look at yourself!" He brushed my hands off in annoyance. His mood changed drastically.

"Look at yourself..." he growled and prowled back to the bathroom.

"What the h-?..."I looked in the mirror. "GOD FUCKIN DAMNIT!!!" I slammed my fist into the glass. With a shatter, my knuckles became dressed in red lace. A growl rose in my chest as I scowled. "Fuck!" I held my hand closely to my body. Logically, I took off my vest, and made a tourniquet. Making sure to keep it tight. I glared up in the shattered remains.

My ice blue eyes stared back. Over my left, a monsterious, raw scar covered my face (or what was once). Rage consumed me, and I reached for the gun on my hip straddle. Storming out, I found that dick-weed smoking against the fridge, as if he hadn't heard my outburst. I slammed him into the metal, and held the barrel up to the base of his neck and jaw. Our faces only separated by the length of the cigarette.

"Who the Hell screwed me up?!" I demanded. But the boy remained calm. He blew a puff of smoke in my face lazily, like the pretty little French boy he is. I could taste the drug, I could taste _Matt_.

"Mihael-"

"What did you call me?!" I threatened, pushing the gun closer into his jaw. He just looked at me with those now uncovered, blue eyes. Gently, he pushed the gun down by the barrel, placing only two fingers on the steel.

"Mello, in the explosion, part of the mask wielded to your face, and in order to get it off, and save you, I had to remove it. Unfortunately, it also removed your skin...but don't worry..." he placed a cold, clammy hand on the right side of my face. "You'll always be beautiful to me..." he slid behind me, most likely to avoid the gun in my hand.

"Your fuckin high" I hissed. Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around my torso. His touch burned against my bare skin, and although I don't know why...it felt good...Electricity pulsed through my veins as his grip increased. I could feel him pressing against my back, the heat seeping up. One hand held my chin, and the other held my waist.

"I guess so..." he breathed in my ear. Licking up the back of it and bitting slightly. A soft moan almost escaped my control. My breathing became shaky. He slid to the front. Holding his hands on my hips, and pulling closer. I suddenly regretted not zipping up my pants. "But the sex's not that bad either..." he hooked his thumbs into my boxers, holy fuck...if that wasn't enough, I could feel myself getting hard just by standing there. Bastard. I pushed as hard as I could, that only being enough to get a few inches out of his grip. A slight rose colour heated my face.

"Mail, I swear, if those things aren't going to be the death of you, I will" I stated, my voice nervous and trembling with my awkward breaths. But all he replied with was a hot, drug sick, horny smile.

"I'll be waiting...."


	6. Disgusting

Better than Drugs

(Mello's POV )- disgusting

_he placed a cold, clammy hand on the right side of my face. "You'll always be beautiful to me..." he slid behind me, most likely to avoid the gun in my hand. _

_"Your fuckin high" I hissed. Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around my torso. His touch burned against my bare skin, and although I don't know why...it felt good...Electricity pulsed through my veins as his grip increased. I could feel him pressing against my back, the heat seeping up. One hand held my chin, and the other held my waist._

_"I guess so..." he breathed in my ear. Licking up the back of it and bitting slightly. A soft moan almost escaped my control. My breathing became shaky. He slid to the front. Holding his hands on my hips, and pulling closer. I suddenly regretted not zipping up my pants. "But the sex's not that bad either..." he hooked his thumbs into my boxers, holy fuck...if that wasn't enough, I could feel myself getting hard just by standing there. Bastard. I pushed as hard as I could, that only being enough to get a few inches out of his grip. A slight rose colour heated my face._

_"Mail, I swear, if those things aren't going to be the death of you, I will" I stated, my voice nervous and trembling with my awkward breaths. But all he replied with was a hot, drug sick, horny smile._

_"I'll be waiting...."_

"damn you Matt!" I kicked the nightstand, sending chips of wood from the pathetic table. Hot tears drenched my cheeks. So what if I was crying?! My best friend's practically committing suicide and he doesn't give a shit about it!

Matt. Mail Jeevas. The kid who would sit in the corner, listen to me rant about how pissed off I was, and just smile in return, was now in the other room doing God knows what in his high state.

Why did this have to happen to him?! Better yet, why do I care?! If the bastard whats to kill himself, then he should be my guest, but for some damn reason, I won't let him! Am I such a pussy as to stop him from the inevitable? Weather it's Kira, cigarettes, or at the hand of mine, Mail Jeevas _will_ die...

I threw myself on the mattress, it creaking from my sudden weight. Shaggy blond hair covered my eyes. _Why should I care that that pimp's in the other room? Disgusting little French boy._ And the thought of that freak _touching_ me with his smoke tainted fingers, what else could he have done to me while I was out cold? This wasn't the Matt I knew. Some thing's changed about him, and I hate it. I want the same old stupid kid I used to screw around with, not this drug high pest.

"But still, he's my friend, and I don't' want him to die. Even if he's a chain smoker, some where in that thick head, he's still _my_ Matt." I said, much calmer than before. Running a pale hand down my neck.

_My Matt. _Did I really just say that? I said he was mine, without stopping to comprehend it. Sometimes the truth is revealed when you're mouth does all the work. In my case, the truth was that I really do want Matt. I want him alive..but if he's always on drugs, that won't be long. Can't necessarily make him cut cold turkey. Withdrawal symptoms aren't good. He'd go insane. Nor can I just steal them from him. I have nor use and besides, I maybe more dominant, but he's stronger, and can easily over power me into getting them.

He's a drug addict.

But..

What if I was the drug?...his new drug?

Matt wouldn't be poisoning himself anymore, and he'd be more than happy, right?

So, thats the plan. I would be the replacement. So what if it has a price? Surely, its worth it.


	7. Lucifer's Angel

yay! :D it hasn't been a month since i last updated! ^^ be happy please! :D lol. Anyway, I actually really liekt his chapter :) I was listening to 'Whispers in the Dark' when i wrote it (that would explaint he lyrics, lol) anyway, I loved Matty in this one. Does anyone know how to draw Mello/Matt very well? If so, can ya please draw one of them for me...? o//O...it'd be fuckin awsome ta see this drawn (in my head). I would, but i suck. lol. just wanna say thanks to my reviewers :) love ya guys! an if ya have any ideas, id love to hear 'em ^^ anyway, PLEASE rate an comment! they're my drug!! :D...no really oO...

Disclaimer: I do not own death note sadly :( it belongs to those two guys whoms names i can never remember.

* * *

Better than Drugs

(Matt's POV)- Lucifer's Angel

He walked away. Just walked away...like last time. Even if it was only the next room, he left. That blond little hoe can't even stand the sight of me. God dammit.

I sat on the bed, glaring at the ceiling. The smoke continued to fill my lungs. But coughed the drug out. I wasn't high. I knew that. But I sure wish I was.

_Go ahead, run away, Lucifer's pretty little angel._

The self inflicted wounds stung under my clothing. I wanted to show him just how fuckin much I care. I care enough to tear open my skin with his name, and let my addiction swim in those cuts. I wanted him to know just how fuckin pathetic I am with out my dark angel. Yeah, I saved him. Shouldn't that be enough for a little reward? A little _thank you _for scavenging through mounds of trash and fire just to find him, and then cleaning him, all so I can get insulted.

I remembered when I saved him. All that ash and shit burning his skin. His frail body smoldering in the pits of a new found, personal Hell. His hair was tainted in black, but still shinning gold. Amber light making it even more beautiful. I won't deny it. Mello's beautiful. And Hell, he knows it. At Wammy's, he may have been second smartest, but he was always the hottest. But now, in his state, even though he was almost glowing, you could see his faults as though they were written in his skin. You saw the burnt body, skin and hair. You saw a skinny little ass hole, but you also saw the boy who gave everything to his dreams, and had them stolen away.

Mihael Keehl, you may think you're old enough to be on your own, but when it all comes down to it, you're nothing but a little boy. And, I may not like it, but I need you..

I turned on my side, glaring out the apartment window. The moon painted past the blinds, leaving my face in stripes. May be I should have let him die. I wouldn't be going through this shit. None of his insults and violent traits. But then again, that's how he always was. Why was this any different? How come I don't feel the some way as before? Why does love have to change everything and make me into a fuckin retard around him?! It's just screwed up!

It hurt to move. It hurt my body, my heart, my pride. How you may ask? Well, how would you feel if your best friend cursed you out about using drugs, then you just so happen to lean over the side of the bed, and reach for more? Tell you, it hurts pretty damn badly. So what if these things could kill me? I lit the stick and held it under my lip. My hand sliding down my body to met the 'M' just about my navel. I traced it with my pinkie finger. Wish he would touch me like that. Wish Mels' hands would actually shake, as they grazed over my skin. I would love that. But alas, he's not interested in guys. Fuckin pimp always had girls on him at Wammy's.

_"Hello, Mello!" a small group of girls crowded around us. Each held a small pink box, and a smile on their faces. They all new Mels loved chocolate, and what better day to give, than on Valentines Day? No one would be suspicious about it. And thats just what Mels liked, playing in secret. All his little games. Nothing perverted intended. He was like a cat, playing all the girls like mice on strings. A brown haired girl stepped forward. Her green eyes not daring to look into his. A pink blush painted on her freckled face._

_"umm, excuse me, Mello. But uh..." She said shyly. _

_'Better not bitch..' I thought jealously. I stood behind him. Though my face calm, content as always, I could feel a glimmer of anger in my stomach. Mello had been the only one that had been there for me. With me. And I would let __no one__ take him away. _

_"I w-was wondering i-if you'd like some chocolate?" she held the box out. Not looking at him, the fear and shyness plastered on her face._

_'Course he likes chocolate, dip shit!' The thoughts continued to bite at me._

_"How'd ya know, hunny?" he replied lightly. Ruffling her hair with his pale hand. The girl's __friends squealed, as her blush grew even more._

_"Hunny?" she asked._

_"Yeah, listen, I got to go. Maybe you could come around some time." he smiled, and began to walk away. Just walk away. I chased after him. Feeling the object in my vest pocket hit me lightly._

_"Mels!" I caught up to him. "What was all that bout?"I tried to sound normal. Forcing a tint of hurt out of my voice._

_"What? Can't take a joke?"_

_"Not when that joke could end up hurting someone." he looked up, and I looked at him. The orange dying sun out side shinning over him. He looked like an angel.._

_"I really don't care. I'll do anything I want." He cocked his head at me, grinned coolly, and walked on._

He was an angel.

He was Lucifer's angel...

Always beautiful, forever uncaring. Always gold. Forever Mello.

I took the cigarette from my mouth. Holding it between two fingers. My blue eyes scanning the night just outside. I felt cold. None of the drugs ever made me warm. But that moment when I was holding Mello, my body felt so hot. I wanted to hold him like that again. No, I wanted _more_ than that. And damned if I don't, damned it I do get him.

Despite all the lies, all the shit he's put me through, his love's mine. I will make him mine.

I will hold him, he will run to me.

"No, you'll never be alone. When darkness comes, I'll light the night with stars..." He would never be alone. I sat up, and opened the dresser drawer beside me. I rummaged through it, retrieving a black permanent marker. "You know I'm never far.." I began to drag the marker over my skin, covering it in black stars. They cloaked me from the ankle up, and kissed the corner of my eyes. The ink chasing any and all unnecessary white areas. I brought the pen to my lips, and coated them too in black ink, like a drug sick lipstick.

"Hear my whispers in the dark..." The fumes seeped from my body to my head, but despite this, I pulled out yet another marker, and drew on my own eye lids, heart, nails and tongue. Roses painted the skin over blue eyes, contrasting brilliantly. My chest held home to a star the size of an average palm. Coloured scarlet. My nails dipped in red, and my tongue dripped with chemical filled crimson ink. Staining my teeth and inner cheeks like the blood my friend had spilled.

"I will not give up my angel. To no one. Not the devil, not God, nor the darkness..." My speech became slurred. The drugs finally hitting me head full blown. The room spun, casting spider webs like marks in my vision form the moon light. "Ugh..." I clenched my stomach. My head hurt like Hell, and I couldn't stop the room around me. My body hit the mattress. I rubbed my face on the bed sheets. Although I didn't regret my actions, I wish I hadn't chosen a permanent marker, those things smell like shit. I felt a violent convulsion in my stomach. My eyes flew open quickly, as I vomited all over the white, tobacco stained sheets. I breathed heavily, the waste form my last meal dripping over my black painted lips. I breathed sharply, as I felt another eruption force the digested food from my throat. And it continued like that for a good 20 minutes.

_Why won't you come in and help me, you bastard?!_ Could he not hear me? If he did, did he not care?! I felt the hot tears leave my sapphire eyes. It hurt so badly, and tasted horrible. My hair was now dampened with vomit, and bile. The thought of extracts from my liver only made me feel worse. That bastard. He didn't care.

I lie there, deciding to just sleep in my own juices. My torso covered in fuckin grime, drugs, and God knows what else. But at this point, I really didn't give a shit, that is, until _he_ walked in...

* * *

clif hanger! :D dah dah DAH.

what will happen next? will Mels feel compassion for Matty? or leave him in disgust? Will he even want to go through with his plan to be Matt's new drug? WIll it end up in rape, drugs, death, or sex? :D dont worry, i have alot more to come :) dont loose faith in me! thanks :)


	8. Horror Show

Woo! :D thanks to all you guys for the reviews! ^^ hit 30! :D believe it or not, I shall dance for that little number *hokey pokey* . I was listnign to 'it's just me' by escape the fate while listenign to this :) Plus, i was thinking of 'corpse bride' so that gave me a few ideas for this chapt. Sorry if Matty seems a tad OOC, but I was just curious on how he'd be if he just snapped :O PLEASE tell me what you think!!!! D: If you have any ideas for kinky fuck, just tell me, k? I'd love to attempt them :) (I dont recall ever writing any sex or lemons, so I'd love to get ideas) anyway, reveiws make nashi smile :D so please, tell me what you think, good, bad, random, or shit-faced, IDC! :D

i do not own Death Note :( ....fuck...

* * *

Better than Drugs

Mello's POV- horror show

"Matt?! The Hell?! What the fuck happened to you?!" I ran over to his side, quickly yanking him from the soiled bed sheets. His face dripped with vomit, and his skin stained with....marker?...I smelt it in his hair and breath. Then winced at the strong oder. "Ugh.." Yeah, marker, permanent marker. The smell of cigarettes still clinging to his body.

"Mels, d-"

"Shut up!" I screamed. "What the Hell have you done to _my_ Matt? To Mail Jeeves?! You're not Matt anymore!" I threw him over the side of the bed, hearing his head hit the floor, hard. His brownish hair splattered the stomach remains around my feet. I straddled his hips from the side, my body looming over his. I watched his weak shell lifted up. He looked like those corpses you see in horror movies. Disgusting. Ugly. Vile. Dead. Like those all those poor bastards. But still, you feel sorry, they can't help the fact that their lives have ended. And when they rise from their supposed 'final bed', you see maggots in their hair, and their skin melting away. Thats what I saw when I looked at Matt, that's what I pitied and lusted for. I felt like a necrophiliac. Wanting to just fuck his dieing ass into the floor.

"M-"

"NO! You.." I pointing an accusing finger at his face, now standing 10 feet taller than that little bitch. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?!" I violently grabbed the scruff of his shoulders. Treating him like a dirty animal. I heard him whimper, but he did nothing else. I continued. "What makes you think that any of this shit will solve anything?! Who the fuck told you that?!"

"No one _tol-_"

"Shut up!" I screamed, and slammed his head back into the floor. Again, he grunted, I heard his goggles crack. They had hung around his neck, and fallen to lie next to his ear. And so when I hit him into the ground, into that fuckin concrete, it shattered, cutting the area just behind the ear lobe. "I can't believe I came I here out of nothing but concern! I wanted to make sure you were ok! And, Hell, the worse case scenario in my head was that you were having a painful orgy! I didn't want to come in here, and see my best friend dying!!! You're fuckin dying, Matt! St-!!"

"MELLO!! Shut the Hell up and listen to me God damn it!" He yanked me down by the hand, clawing up my arm. I could feel his cold dead hands climbing into my skin like rat feet. The spider like fingers curled around the hem on my shirt, and pulled me down to his eye level. "I don't _choose_ to be this way. Hell, if I had any other choice, I'd already be dead! I would've hung myself with my goggles, I would have stabbed myself, had an overdose, I would've even fuckin clawed out my throat! BUT I DIDN'T!! And you know _WHY, _Mello?! Wanna know why I wanted to die so fuckin badly?!"

I was scared, he held me by my vest, his grip tightening with every word he spoke. Every breath he took, was filled with chemicals. I could taste his spit leave his lips, and on to my face, only about an inch from his. My blue eyes locked with his. I saw rage, and pain. I saw myself in those glazed, sapphire orbs.

He clenched my hand, forcing it to open with a regrettable whimper from me.

"Ugh..." My fingers uncurled, as he drew my arm close to his stomach and chest.

"Give me your nails." He growled, his voice deep and husky. Demanding that I obey. And so, I did. Matt lead my hand over his body, and stopped as his abdomen. He looked up, and smiled a sadistic grin. " I'll show you _why_ I'm not dead yet..." My nails slid under a scar, and lifted the skin form the wound. A sickening crackling sound fallowed. I was pulling open his flesh, I could feel it in my fingers. No matter how little was actually being held, it was still the same. He was forcing me to open the deep gashes in his stomach. I turned my head in disgust. Not wanting to continue. He noticed, and with a free hand, he pulled my face back to look at him..I had expected it to be harsh, like I always commanded him, but it wasn't. His soft hands, never worn form doing any physical work, held my chin, and lead it forwards.

"Matt.."

"Mello, Look at me." He lowered his head, watching my hand lift up the rest of his skin from the cuts. Then, he let go. My wrist fell down to his pale stomach.

I felt blood. No matter how many people I killed in the Mafia, no matter who's blood, I have never felt to horrible, so sickened, as I have that moment. With my eyes wide, I looked down.

_Mihael Keehl_

He wrote my name..that little shit wrote my name, in his body... I could feel my hand shake, his blood droplets joining it's family on the concrete.

No. No, no, no, no, no!! _I_ did this to him! I'm the one who caused this Hell! I pushed my Matt away from me! Only then did I realize, or even bothered to actually look at what he had done to himself, correction, what I made him do. I saw the black stars on his skin...black stars...

_"Hey, Mels..." The boy started. We were laying outside. Normally at Wammy's, we all had a curfew specified by our ages. For us, being 11, had been 10. But Hell, we didn't care. We were second and third best. We deserved some sort of reward._

_"Yeah?" I turned my head towards him. He looked so happy there in the moonlight with me. Not trying to be romantic or any of that shit, but thats how he always looked. Always so happy...or at least he used to be._

_"I want to go to the moon..."_

_"pft, idiot, you'd die..." I saw that happy face disappear._

_"Well, If I were to die, up there with the stars....i wonder what colour they'd be...." it appeared to be a hobby of his to come up with pointless questions._

_"Black, Matt. They'd all be black..." He smiled, and pulled he into a hug. A friendly hug, nothing serious. Right?..._

The black stars...

I saw the roses he drew on his eyes, and the red on his chest...

_"Happy Valentines day, Matt..." I said, less enthused than he had been that morning. I still sucked on the chocolate pieces he had given me. They tasted sweeter than the ones countless girls had thrust into my mouth. He lay on his bed, head hanging over the side. Red-ish hair dangling from his scalp._

_"Thanks, Mels." He smiled, and continued playing a Mario game. I stood there. I could feel a blush crawl on to my face. _

_"Matt?..."_

_"Yeah?" He looked up, his blue eyes covered by the goggles I had given his years earlier. That stupid smile still plastered on his lips. I groaned, and turned my face away._

_"Here!" I threw two tissue papered flowers at his head, and ran out. It's like had planned on my face being a stop sign. Bright fuckin red. Just like those roses. I didn't looked back at him...but I could tell he was still smiling..._

The roses....

"You are the reason I'm still alive, Mello..." He stood warily, and pulled the gun from my belt. "But not for long..." Cold fear stopped my heart, as he raised it to his head...

* * *

YES! Clifhanger again!!! :D Sorry, i cut it short for dramatic effect. But rest assured, I will have the next chapt up very soon ^^ reveiw!!! please =O.O=


	9. It keeps getting better

sorry, took longer than i wanted to upload :( an its a tad short, but i just wanted ta get somethin up :/ DONT WORRY! next chapt will be twice as long, and nothing by hot gay sex ;) lol, please review an give me ideas! :D Thatd be awsome ^^

i do not own death note *sighs* *rolls ball with finger in corner* :( damnit

* * *

Better than Drugs

Mello's POV- it just keeps getting better

The roses....

"You are the reason I'm still alive, Mello..." He stood warily, and pulled the gun from my belt. "But not for long..." Cold fear stopped my heart, as he raised it to his head...

Hot tears poured down my face. The gun was loaded, and Matt wouldn't screw around like that...

"Matt!" I attacked him, throwing his arm down to his side as my body fell on top of his, and knocked his weakened form to the ground.

"Stop it, Mello!!" He screamed, and pulled it back up to his temple. "I WANT TO DIE!" before he could pull the trigger, I did the most stupid thing. But it was all I could think of. It was like one of those cheesy soap operas...I kissed him.

Not just a normal kiss, nah uh. No sir. It was full blown. I screwed my eyes shut, waiting for the bullet to smash threw his skull. But it didn't. And we just lay there. I on top of him, he in complete shock. I heard the gun fall out of his hand, and felt him give into the kiss, opening his mouth to me. I tried to restrain myself, give him something sweet. Like candy or _drugs _to lure him in. I licked at him teeth, then at the roof of him mouth.

"Hmmm..." I heard that gamer moan, as his body shuffled beneath me, trying to escape the tickle. My hands moved up his chest, and pinned him down by his wrist. There was no way he'd get a hold of that gun again.

I could taste the cigarettes, the ink and vomit in his mouth, but hell, even past that, Matt had his own flavour, better than any damn chocolate I've even had. He pulled his arms around my waist, not wanting me to go either.

_This's the last night you'll be alone,Matt. Your last night away from me..._ My tongue lapped in his saliva. He moaned again, enjoying it to a high extent. One of his large hands laced in my hair, pulling my mouth further into his. He pulled away, leaving only enough room between us to talk.

"Mello...why did you...? what made ya..? uhh..." he grumbled, straining to speak. "why'd ya do that? Now I'm gonna get high, you little fag.." Matt laughed, and turned us over, making me on the bottom. The uke...well fuck, I'd be a uke to him, and _only_ him. He smiled, not that friendly kitten smile like he always wore, no, this was hungry, that little kitty cat was now a facing eating predator. Like Satan's cat, tempting the big bad mafia dog to fuck it to the floor. Some little cat...

He bit at my neck, running a trail of small bites over the skin. I tried to suppress a moan, but then he put his whole mouth over side, and began to suck and lick. Bringing up blood from under the skin. He caught the cord to the cross that hung I wore, and stopped. Looking down at me, and standing up, offering a hand to me.

"Matt, why the Hell did you stop?" I sounded annoyed. Fuck, I thought it'd work, and now thanks to him, I had a boner. Damn him.

"You're Catholic."

"What's that got to do with anything?!" He should know better than to screw around with me. And yet he was persisting on the fact that he didn't do me up the ass all because I'm Catholic.

"Isn't against your religion to have homosexual relationships?" true. It was.

"So what?! So's killing people! And you know very well, I'd kill anyone who got in my way!"

"That includes God?" I stopped. Would I really kill God? Just so I could be with him?...

"You bet your ass." He looked shocked, mouth slightly opened. I stepped closer to him. Time to see the plan in motion...

"Matt, I'd do anything for you. You know that right? Everything I do, is for you and only you..." We were barely two inches apart. My face looked down, and fingers toying with his nipple. He shivered under my touch. Breathing suddenly becoming wispy, and thin. I was getting to him. I pressed against his body again, making sure every inch of his skin touched mine.

"What about leaving me at Wammy's? Huh? Was that for my better being?" he sounded offended. Pushing me a bit, just so we could look easily.

"Yes. You and I are both criminals. 'member when you hacked into the police security station, and deleted the information they had of me?"

"Yeah, along with all the video footage and files on the Kira case." He smiled. That good old smile...

"So...that's why I left, I left for you..." I looked up at him with soft eyes, he wouldn't resist. Thats why he cried every time we fuckin watched an abandoned animal movie. He couldn't resist the eyes. "But now I'm back, Matty." I grabbed him by the skin on his neck gently, the loose skin.  
"and I want nothing more than to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to close those legs.." I ran a hand up his thigh, hearing him hiss in pleasure. "So, what do you say?..."

* * *

what do ya say, Matty? ;) Ya like drugs, try a good dose of Mels. lol. tell me wha you think, comments, questions, concerns, fire any thing! :D


	10. Temporary Authors Note please read!

God! I'm SO sorry it took so long for me to update!! D: im not even kidding! Our old computer had a virus, so I couldnt do anything. good news! I have a laptop now. Bad news: all the files on our other computer where deleted by the virus T_T... that includes all my stories. ALL of theme. Even all my damned school work. That sucks. *sigh * anyway, I also havent been on for a while cause I have a hell of a lot of homework for over the summer. No joke. We got a freakin 14 page packet, 3 quizzes, an essay, a reading assignment, and 4 forgein language lessions, each with quizzes as well. So, yeah... im sorry :(

ill update as soon as I can, k? I swear I havent forgotten!


	11. Better Than Drugs, part 1

BTD: Chapter 10- 'Better Than Drugs, part 1'

"_So...that's why I left, I left for you..." I looked up at him with soft eyes, he wouldn't resist. That's why he cried every time we fuckin watched an abandoned animal movie. He couldn't resist the eyes. "But now I'm back, Matty." I grabbed him by the skin on his neck gently, the loose skin."and I want nothing more than to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to close those legs.." I ran a hand up his thigh, hearing him hiss in pleasure. "So, what do you say?..."_

What do I say?

..

"I say come here." I growled, crashing his lips against mine. My fingers laced in his hair, and tugged gently.

It numbed my pain. Every ounce of it, gone. He was better than ANY drug I had inhaled, chewed, swallowed, or stuck into my body. My hands traveled down, and met around Mels waist. I pulled him as close to me as possible. I could feel his heart beat, his whole body was shaking..

"Mello," I pulled away breathlessly. "Why are you shaking?.." He gave me a pissed off look.

"I'm just not used to being over powered." He admitted looking down, then back up at me with those bright blue eyes.

"Better get used to it, cause by the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging for more." I grinned, and threw him back first on to the bed.

"Think you're_ that _good of a fuck? ha. We'll see about that." He retaliated.

"Yeah, I think I am." I challenged.

"Shut up and fuck me already, my sweet little bitch." He pulled me in to a hungry, passionate kiss.

Our tongues raged in a hot war. His mouth tasted so sweet. I licked the insides of his cheeks and the roof. I felt him moan, and grab my ass. I let out a squeak. Who would've thought, that Mello, big tough guy Mello, would be under me, wanting me to screw him 6 feet under? His fingers traced the sharpied stars on my body, he chuckled as he bit my bottom lip.

"Ya know, Matty, I always thought of us as animals." I gave him a questioning stare.

"Animals? Like cats, dogs, rats, and pigs?"

"Yeah, but for being an animal, you're pretty damn tame." He yawned. "Almost makes things...boring.."

"Boring? Hell, I'll show _you_ boring." I growled. My teeth latched on to his neck. He screamed, not in pain, but in pleasure. How do I know this? His eyes had that glazed look someone gets when he's with a lover. Does that mean Mels wants _me_ to be his lover? Good Lord I would hope so..

"Tsk, Tsk," he said breathlessly, his chest heaving for air. "Still so tame, what are you? A fuckin kitten?"

"Shut up!" I thrust my hips against him. He let out another cry. "Oh, you like that, don't you?"

"No shit."

"You want more?" I undid his pants. "Then lets get started."


End file.
